When it comes to anal sex, safety is the number one thing you should be paying attention to.  The external tissue of the anus has layers of dead cells that serve as a protective barrier against infection. The tissue inside the anus does not have this natural protection, which leaves it vulnerable to tearing and the spread of infection.

Even if both partners do not have a sexually transmitted infection or disease, bacteria normally in the anus can potentially infect the giving partner. Practicing vaginal sex after anal sex can also lead to vaginal and urinary tract infections. 

While pregnancy is not an issue during anal sex, STI’s can be transmitted via anal sex. The best way to keep any of this from happening is condoms. 

Why Condoms?

Condoms work for not only anal sex with a partner to keep it safe, but it works for solo play as well. You can use it on your toys to keep them clean, though I do recommend using toys made of non-porous body-safe materials that I plan to talk about more below when we talk about toy safety with anal sex. 

This means whenever you might switch between other kinds of sex you can change out the condom which will keep the spread of bacteria from happening.

While they do come lubricated, it is good to never just rely on that alone.

Don’t forget Lubrication!

Unlike the Vagina, your anus is not self-lubricating. Lube is not only something that is needed to have safe anal sex, but it makes it so much better as well! It makes the initial penetration far easier and less painful. Which for whoever is on the receiving end of the act, makes the experience a lot more pleasurable. You cannot use too much lube.

There are many kinds of lubrication, however, the ones that I find to be the best suited are water-based lubes. They are normally safe for anyone to use based on allergies, but they also work well with condoms. Oil-based lubricants can degrade the latex in a condom which ruins how useful it is. 

DO NOT USE A DESENSITIZING LUBE! Yes, I put this into all caps for a reason. Lubes that numb the area is a huge NO, why? Well if you can’t feel anything, you aren’t going to know if something is wrong. Pain is your body’s way of telling you “HEY! This isn’t right!”. And while yes, anal sex does have pain in it when you are first getting used to it that pain helps you figure out what works for you and what doesn’t. 

Preparing yourself and your body

Anal sex can certainly be pleasurable, but it helps to be prepared.  Going into it being worried or stressing about things like the pain of the mess is just going to make you tense. Which in turn makes you tense there as well. Take the time to just get yourself mentally ready, however, works for you or for you and a partner. 

Foreplay or having any other type of sex before you jump into anal does help as well, because who isn’t relaxed after a good orgasm? It is always better to be relaxed than to be tense when it comes to anal from my own experiences. 

You don’t even have to jump right to penetration with your partner. Take the time to stretch! Be it with fingers or even a toy. In the case of using your fingers, you can use condoms though they tend to be bigger than needed. So I suggest finger cots or gloves made of latex or nitrate. Slowly increasing the size will help prevent tearing but this too can be a great form of foreplay. 

Don’t forget Toys!

Many toys can be used for anal play out there.  But one thing that these toys all should have is a flared base or something you are able to hold on to retrieve it easily. If a toy is not flared at the end, I would not use it for anal play. Why? Well because of the muscles it could easily pull a toy up and into the rectum if say your hand were to slip because of lubrication. I know it’s a scary thought, but it is better to be safe than sorry. This goes not only for toys designed for anal play but toys that while are not specifically for anal use can be used in that fashion such as some vibrators or dildos. 

Check the Material

Toy material is also important to take into consideration. Toys made of jelly, rubber, PVC not only are porous (meaning bacteria and germs just stay in there), they are unable to be sanitized (so use a condom if you must use a toy made from it, but they also contain phthalates which can irritate the skin and other chemicals that burn. ABS Plastic can be okay, but it’s harder, so there isn’t a lot of giving to it. The top three that are best for anal sex are silicone, glass, and metal. They are nonporous and easy to sanitize after use (boiling, popping on the top rack of the dishwasher, 10% bleach solution)

Also, if you are just starting, start small. There is no shame in going with a toy that is thin and perhaps not that long. If that is what makes you feel comfortable then go for it! 

Companies I Trust for Anal Toys

• Early2Bed
• Shevibe
• Peepshow Toys

My very last piece of information and this is the big one. Anal sex isn’t for everyone. Sometimes you just don’t like it, and that’s fine. Sometimes no matter how much you try, it just won’t feel right or might be painful and again that’s okay! There are so many other types of sex and things you can do in bed that if you can’t have anal it’s not the end of the world! For more information check out the links I have listed below.